The clock strikes 0000 and today is 23 April 2012. Happy birthday to me! Yeah I'm celebrating it without my family around me, for the first time. Tears drop ok..
Wish list :
1. Plan balik gawai tiada halangan datang.
2. This Friday should be awesome as last Friday with the accompany of God.
3. I want to have a good relationship with God.
4. Bless me with good health.
5. Gives me strength.
6. Bless my study.
7. *To be added
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Trust vs untrusted
Erm.. By referring to the topic it is very hard to trust people. Once you trusted him or her, and once she or he told others your secret it is hard for me to trust them for the second time. Before this I told someone about my secret. And then tiba-tiba time gurau2 dia tersebut rahsia saya depan kawan-kawan lain tapi nasib baik dia pandai cover. I know dia mau gurau-gurau dengan saya tapi itu adalah secret.
When it comes to secret it must be secret.
SECRET - YOU CANNOT TELL OTHERS EVEN MENTION ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
It just between us. Bear that in my mind. Ko cerita satu perkara dengan saya, ko minta rahsiakan. Ko minta saya rahsiakan betul-betul. Ko suruh saya janji lagi tidak bagitau orang pasal tu. Jangan bagitau orang lain pasal tu. Jangan sebut apa-apa pasal tu. Memang saya rahsiakan. I keep my promise till now. Saya tak pernah sebut apa-apa pasal tu and never mention about it even dengan ko pun kecuali ko yang sebut dulu. Lepas perkara ko sebut tu depan kawan-kawan lain, saya susah untuk percaya ko lagi walaupun ko hanya mau gurau-gurau.
As I promise I'll keep your secret so do you but you didn't. Then.. It is hard for me to trust you to share my secret with as you hampir terpecah rahsia. You see. Hanya setakat hampir terpecah rahsia saya sudah susah untuk mempercayai kamu apa lagi kalu kamu betul-betul pecahkan rahsia saya.
Scandal, jangan terasa saya. Past is past.
When it comes to secret it must be secret.
SECRET - YOU CANNOT TELL OTHERS EVEN MENTION ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
It just between us. Bear that in my mind. Ko cerita satu perkara dengan saya, ko minta rahsiakan. Ko minta saya rahsiakan betul-betul. Ko suruh saya janji lagi tidak bagitau orang pasal tu. Jangan bagitau orang lain pasal tu. Jangan sebut apa-apa pasal tu. Memang saya rahsiakan. I keep my promise till now. Saya tak pernah sebut apa-apa pasal tu and never mention about it even dengan ko pun kecuali ko yang sebut dulu. Lepas perkara ko sebut tu depan kawan-kawan lain, saya susah untuk percaya ko lagi walaupun ko hanya mau gurau-gurau.
As I promise I'll keep your secret so do you but you didn't. Then.. It is hard for me to trust you to share my secret with as you hampir terpecah rahsia. You see. Hanya setakat hampir terpecah rahsia saya sudah susah untuk mempercayai kamu apa lagi kalu kamu betul-betul pecahkan rahsia saya.
Scandal, jangan terasa saya. Past is past.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Mr Mr Mr
If you read my post kan Mr Allen, I don't know what is your response. Maybe you are going to be mad with me or speechless or regret like I do. Sorry ya if you don't like that post. But please understand the feeling.hee...
If you Mr Stephen read my post, maybe you will hurt, disappointed or mad(but I know it is very hard for you to be mad at me. I know you.) or menahan perasaan.
If my parent or my sister or my brother read this post.. Ehem... I will wait for their call. hehehehe...
And then, scandal Jai told me that I looked terrible during my secondary with my hair ceridak, cikai2 muka. Dia tanya macam mana la Stephen boleh suka ko ni.. Macam mana la si Allen suka ko ni...
Hei.... Tumbuk ko.
The end.
If you Mr Stephen read my post, maybe you will hurt, disappointed or mad(but I know it is very hard for you to be mad at me. I know you.) or menahan perasaan.
If my parent or my sister or my brother read this post.. Ehem... I will wait for their call. hehehehe...
And then, scandal Jai told me that I looked terrible during my secondary with my hair ceridak, cikai2 muka. Dia tanya macam mana la Stephen boleh suka ko ni.. Macam mana la si Allen suka ko ni...
Hei.... Tumbuk ko.
The end.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Thought To Be Spoken
I have a nice memory of you. It is very hard for me to let it go. I will never write the story of you and her because I don't want it to interrupt my story. I just want to keep the story of you and me only. I can write the story over and over again without getting bored but I will smile.
Letting go of someone isn’t nearly as hard as letting go of the memories. Cause when they’re gone, that’s all you have left of them.How many times do I have to regret about the past? I know it such a wasting of time. I, maybe should NOT regretting the past but keep moving on. How? By having my friends with me. :)
If you spend your life regretting things in the past, before you know it you will have wasted your life on regret.You can't lose what you never had, you can't keep what's not yours & you can't hold on to something that doesn't want to stay
Stephen, may be this is another reason why I want to hold you and keep you waiting.
Once you have been hurt, you are so scared to get attached again, you have a fear that every person is going to break you heart.
When I read this, I'm thinking. Give up or heartache?
Sometimes you just have to give up on people. Chasing after them is a heartache, especially when they don't try to meet u half way
Maybe it's true.
Sometimes you’re not afraid of letting go, you’re just afraid of accepting the fact that it’s gone.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Again and Again
Continue~~~~
Allen, in 2008, it was the first time we met each other during debate competition in my school. A day before my birthday. The first time I saw you, I know I'm falling in love at first sight. Your team is the government and we are the opponent. After finish, your team came approach us and shake hand. Then, we were watching other schools. I notice that you keep on turning your head back. How come I can notice that, because I'm watching you from the back there. hahahaha... After finish watching the debate, you guys were going back. And I make my move to pejabat warden with my friend to take speaker for poco-poco practice. And I saw you, your friends, and your teacher were sitting there. One of your friend waving at me and you just watching me standing at the door and I just smiling. That day, all I know is joy. But I don't know your name. The exact spelling of your name. I'm looking for you in the internet, friendster, facebook, myspace and etc. I ask my cousin about you whether she knows you or not. But it doesn't help me at all. I keep on thinking when I will going to meet you again. Putus asa dah aku. And my theme song for the story is Aku Sayang Padamu. That is why every time I sing that song feeling berabis.
And the next year 2009, we join debate for the second time. And we are going to see each other again for sure. When I heard SMK Kai Chung is our opponent, I think for sure you will join. And YES YES YES I saw you. You know how I feel that time..... but I have to cover it. Smiling. You and your team standing in the middle of the way and my team and I have to pass by you guys. I don't have the confidence to have an eye with you and I notice that you were watching me. Bila you balik naik van, I saw you smiling. Oh my. We never made the first move to know each other. 2009 is my last year in school. I can't join any debate to meet you. Putus harapan for me to see you for the third time.
And what? 2010 I saw you at Puspakom Sarikei. I'm taking a class for car lesson and we were in different class. Damn it. You were outside with your friends and I was inside with mum. The door was tinted with black. From outside you cannot see me but I can see you. Every second I'm watching you. I hope we can meet each other that one whole day.
One day, Edwin chat me in in fb. He found a new friend during his driving lesson which that new friend is his friend in his fb. I don't know why I'm being very kepoo ask for his new friend's fb. I check his wall and photo. Tengok punya tengok, I found a picture in his album. I click next looking for that face. I know it was A's face. I ask Edwin whether he know the guy in the picture. And yes. He knows A. I ask for A's fb. Before I add him, I think should I or should not I add him. Finally I add him. I told Edwin every thing. The same story I wrote here. He just sign up in facebook. The day I add him was fall on his birthday. The next day, he approves me. The next day baru dia post "Macam ku kenal jak" on my wall. He always go online late at night. Saya pun memang online lewat2. Sampai satu hari saya jarang online online lewat malam. Saya online awal pagi, dia pun tiba2 online awal pagi. If sapa2 online, we just leave a message there. hahaha... Tapi sayang hubungan kami tidak menjadi. Kami macam main tarik2 tali. Rasa itu ada cuma tidak diluahkan oleh masing2. Saya tau dia positif dan saya yakin juga dia tau yang saya positif. I don't know why why why he didn't make the first move even I had give so many clues. He wants me to do the first move? No I won't.
Your friend who becomes my best friend now, Jimbat told me, you macam orang gila searching for me in the internet, newspaper, etc etc. Always mention my name. Pendek kata, your friend said you are angau. Sampai Jimbat sanggup looking for me at KML. He wants to see what I have that had make you go crazy. I notice many of your friends add me in fb.
Dia kapel dengan orang lain. Brokenhearted. That time I was strong enough because I am not 100% sure about his feeling towards me before he made up with his gf. But after I knew it, I really disappointed.
Every time I write the story about you, I am smiling. How I really wish that I could turn back the time dear. I really wish for that. Really really.
Allen, in 2008, it was the first time we met each other during debate competition in my school. A day before my birthday. The first time I saw you, I know I'm falling in love at first sight. Your team is the government and we are the opponent. After finish, your team came approach us and shake hand. Then, we were watching other schools. I notice that you keep on turning your head back. How come I can notice that, because I'm watching you from the back there. hahahaha... After finish watching the debate, you guys were going back. And I make my move to pejabat warden with my friend to take speaker for poco-poco practice. And I saw you, your friends, and your teacher were sitting there. One of your friend waving at me and you just watching me standing at the door and I just smiling. That day, all I know is joy. But I don't know your name. The exact spelling of your name. I'm looking for you in the internet, friendster, facebook, myspace and etc. I ask my cousin about you whether she knows you or not. But it doesn't help me at all. I keep on thinking when I will going to meet you again. Putus asa dah aku. And my theme song for the story is Aku Sayang Padamu. That is why every time I sing that song feeling berabis.
And the next year 2009, we join debate for the second time. And we are going to see each other again for sure. When I heard SMK Kai Chung is our opponent, I think for sure you will join. And YES YES YES I saw you. You know how I feel that time..... but I have to cover it. Smiling. You and your team standing in the middle of the way and my team and I have to pass by you guys. I don't have the confidence to have an eye with you and I notice that you were watching me. Bila you balik naik van, I saw you smiling. Oh my. We never made the first move to know each other. 2009 is my last year in school. I can't join any debate to meet you. Putus harapan for me to see you for the third time.
And what? 2010 I saw you at Puspakom Sarikei. I'm taking a class for car lesson and we were in different class. Damn it. You were outside with your friends and I was inside with mum. The door was tinted with black. From outside you cannot see me but I can see you. Every second I'm watching you. I hope we can meet each other that one whole day.
One day, Edwin chat me in in fb. He found a new friend during his driving lesson which that new friend is his friend in his fb. I don't know why I'm being very kepoo ask for his new friend's fb. I check his wall and photo. Tengok punya tengok, I found a picture in his album. I click next looking for that face. I know it was A's face. I ask Edwin whether he know the guy in the picture. And yes. He knows A. I ask for A's fb. Before I add him, I think should I or should not I add him. Finally I add him. I told Edwin every thing. The same story I wrote here. He just sign up in facebook. The day I add him was fall on his birthday. The next day, he approves me. The next day baru dia post "Macam ku kenal jak" on my wall. He always go online late at night. Saya pun memang online lewat2. Sampai satu hari saya jarang online online lewat malam. Saya online awal pagi, dia pun tiba2 online awal pagi. If sapa2 online, we just leave a message there. hahaha... Tapi sayang hubungan kami tidak menjadi. Kami macam main tarik2 tali. Rasa itu ada cuma tidak diluahkan oleh masing2. Saya tau dia positif dan saya yakin juga dia tau yang saya positif. I don't know why why why he didn't make the first move even I had give so many clues. He wants me to do the first move? No I won't.
Your friend who becomes my best friend now, Jimbat told me, you macam orang gila searching for me in the internet, newspaper, etc etc. Always mention my name. Pendek kata, your friend said you are angau. Sampai Jimbat sanggup looking for me at KML. He wants to see what I have that had make you go crazy. I notice many of your friends add me in fb.
Dia kapel dengan orang lain. Brokenhearted. That time I was strong enough because I am not 100% sure about his feeling towards me before he made up with his gf. But after I knew it, I really disappointed.
Every time I write the story about you, I am smiling. How I really wish that I could turn back the time dear. I really wish for that. Really really.
What do I have to do to make you see she can't love you like me?
If I die then you will notice my presence?
And I notice something. They have one thing in common : The way they laugh.
Jimbat said "If d takut terluka, anang menaruh harapan yang tinggi agi. Maybe he is the one for you and maybe not."
I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone and I'll be crying
And I'll be begging you, baby, beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years and I think I'm dying
What do I have to do to make you see she can't love you like me?
Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay? Yeah
You keep telling me, baby there will come a time
When you will leave her arms and forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear to love a man you have to share
Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay?
I can't take it any longer but my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute after all that I've put in it
I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine
Why don't you stay? I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, you can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go, there is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay? Yeah, oh
If I die then you will notice my presence?
I know I should not talk about this anymore. It is past. Every time I said this is the time I let him go, but you see. The story still there. Maybe the feeling still there too and that is why I want to hold Stephen and keep him waiting. Maybe he will say the same thing to me "What do I have to do to make you see Allen cannot love you like me? If I die then you will notice my presence, my love for you?"
And I notice something. They have one thing in common : The way they laugh.
Jimbat said "If d takut terluka, anang menaruh harapan yang tinggi agi. Maybe he is the one for you and maybe not."
I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone and I'll be crying
And I'll be begging you, baby, beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years and I think I'm dying
What do I have to do to make you see she can't love you like me?
Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay? Yeah
You keep telling me, baby there will come a time
When you will leave her arms and forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear to love a man you have to share
Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay?
I can't take it any longer but my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute after all that I've put in it
I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine
Why don't you stay? I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely, you can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go, there is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way, baby, why don't you stay? Yeah, oh
Gila
I'm quite surprise that you boleh jadi gila because of me. If I see my picture that time, punya la bida. Rambut macam lelaki. Cikai2 mpu rupa. hahaha.. Adui... Ada juga orang gila2 ni. tapi aku kiut la time ya.. hahahaha....kihkihkih... How I wish I could turn back the time. Now, I don't see that we can be together. Maybe you have others and I have somebody waiting for me. AD, penangan d memang mendalam ba aku. Aku pan nda nemu nama kebuah.
To be continued ya... Lama dah ku online tu.
To be continued ya... Lama dah ku online tu.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)